^ This pic was taken last summer when I was in much better shape & feeling great.
When I posted about getting back on track with health + fitness this morning on instastories, I was surprised and overwhelmed (in a good way) by how many of you could relate! It was comforting to know I’m not the only one feeling this way today. If you’ve followed us for any amount of time, you probably know by now this is something I majorly struggle with. For whatever reason, I cannot seem to find a balance for my life when it comes to health. I’m either “all in” or “all out” with my mentality, and I know that is the problem. I will exercise 5 days a week, eat super clean, then just get burnt out on that “lifestyle” as soon as I see results…this is followed by a several month period of binging on anything and everything I feel like eating, and forgetting about the gym. Then, once my clothes start feeling too tight/jeans won’t button, I start the cycle all over again. I’m so sick of feeling like this, and living this way. I’m getting back on track starting today, and this time I’m taking a different approach. Instead of beating myself up for ordering dessert, I’ll enjoy a piece of cake with my friends after dinner, and know that my entire day doesn’t need to go out the window. This is the problem with the way I
am currently was living my life. “I had a piece of cake and wine last night, so I might as well have a donut for breakfast, pizza for lunch, and pasta for dinner.” I’m letting go of the all-or-nothing attitude, and realizing that consistency is key when it comes to health. All of my fittest friends swear by a consistent lifestyle vs. a super strict one – they will indulge (guilt-free), and just get back to their healthy eating at their next meal, and continue with their regular workouts. It’s both inspiring and frustrating for me – I’m always asking myself why they can do it but I can’t?! Why can’t I just be consistent? I know I have nobody to blame but myself. I definitely felt best when I was consistent with FWTFL, but stopped being able to hold myself accountable w/it, so I’m taking a break from it for a bit.
This is my weight as of this morning. The number on the scale means something different to everyone, and is very different for every body type. Someone might see this number and think of it as their goal weight, someone else might see it and cringe to think of themselves ever weighing that, pounds are not the same for every body. I don’t want anyone to base their feeling of health on my number. At first I wasn’t planning to share this for that reason…I don’t want anyone focusing on the actual number, but it’s part of my struggle/my story/how I’m feeling so I decided to. Everyone knows their own numbers for their own bodies, and for me…this number is not what I was expecting. For reference, I weighed between 105-120 in college (was definitely a part of the #freshman15 club), 115 when I got married, and 117 at my first doctor’s appointment finding out I was pregnant. Those were my baseline numbers. At 9 months pregnant with both of my girls, I weighed 144. So, you can imagine seeing 136.6 does not feel great when you take all that into account (especially since I had my last baby 4 years ago lol). My weight has fluctuated so much the past few years/post baby…from 120-now 136. It’s not about the number on the scale, it’s about how I feel…both mentally and physically. I do not think the scale is the end-all-be-all for health at all, I typically do not even weigh myself because the scale doesn’t tell the whole story. But, I was curious to see where I was at since I haven’t been going to the gym (no muscle weight), and eating whatever I felt like. Before our trip to Morocco, I was planning to pack some super fun dresses I used to love, but every single one was too tight…most I couldn’t even zip. I was just standing there wondering how I got to this point. It made me feel so much less confident, insecure, and just down on myself. I’m tired of feeling like this, and change starts today. Here’s what I am planning to do this time in order to stay consistent and make my health a priority:
I would love to hear any additional tips if you have them, thank you all! xx PS – I’m not proofreading this post, sorry if there are typos!