The other day on instastories, we asked you guys to send in your funny ‘quarantine confessions,’ and wanted to round up a few for a blog post. Some of them are seriously hilarious lol! If you have any to add to the list, leave them in the comments below so we can all continue to have a laugh! Here we go…

“I eat Uncrustables in the middle of the night”

“Coworker flushed the toilet when we were on a very big international conference call”

“I ate an entire pack of oreos in one sitting”

“I don’t remember the last day I brushed my teeth”

“I went 17 days without washing my hair”

“I haven’t worn a bra in two weeks”

“I go from coffee, to Diet Coke, to wine…daily”

“I found melted chocolate chips in my bra at the end of the day”

“I caught my boyfriend drinking coffee out of our toothbrush holder”

“I let my daughter watch as much TV as she wants in our ‘screen free’ home when my husband leaves”

“So much time to cook, but I’m ordering takeout every night”

“My husband types so damn loud I can’t take it. Most annoying co-worker”

“I workout in the morning during my son’s nap so when 3pm hits, I can start drinking wine”

“I ate so many gusher packets I threw up”

“My husband told me I looked so nice and clean today, it was the first time I showered in 5 days”

“I shaved one arm today to see if the hairs actually grow back thicker”

“I can’t remember the last time I wore deodorant”

“My husband is driving me crazy”

“I ate a jar of cream cheese frosting. With a spoon”

“I drank way too much wine and went ‘live’ in my bathtub”

“I bought a case of my favorite cookies, hid them from my family, and I eat them in the bathroom”

“I secretly like it”

“When I asked my 13 year old to put ice in my water, he asked if I wanted vodka in there too”

“I tell my husband I have a work call, so I can lock myself in our bedroom alone”

“I wait until my husband showers to get the mail so I can sneak my packages in the house”

“I’ve been wearing the same underwear for days”

“I completed my kid’s online school today because I’m OVER it”

“I said I was doing laundry, I was actually doing tiktoks”

“I shaved half of my fluffy dog while I was drunk, then I got tired and gave up”

“Slid into an ex-bachelor’s DM’s”

“Wage decreased by 40% so I work that much less & started playing Nintendo. I’m 35”

“I hid (from my kids) in my bedroom and watched Kardashians with a glass of wine…at noon”

“I’m either coming out of this pregnant or divorced, right now it’s 50/50”

“I had to pour a cocktail during a faculty zoom meeting”

“I have used way too much self-tanner. It’s good I’m not going in public anytime soon”